How to Judge a Girl's Attractivness

Imagine you are in a Starbucks with a gossip buddy and one of you spots a girl who looks like she came back from a Paris Hilton convention. Her face has enough makeup to protect her skin from a powerful laser. Her skirt is so short she couldn’t hide a paperclip between her legs. You whisper to your friend, “Jesus, I bet she is disgusting behind all that glamour gear.” Then your friend replies, “Yea, um, I would still hit it.”

In this case, who is making a better judgment on the attractiveness of this Paris impersonator? I would argue that your friend would have the better judgment.

There are two extreme ways of judging a girl’s attractiveness. 1) Judge how she looks in the worst lighting and the worst camera angles. 2) Judge how she looks in the best lighting and the best camera angle. Both ways offer a fair platform to scrutinize and compare her looks with others. There are two things wrong with making these judgments. Firstly, the majority of the time you won’t see this girl in the worst or best possible way, so you have to judge her somewhere in between. Secondly, consider two girls, girl X looks better than girl Y in the judgment analysis 1. However, girl Y looks better in the judgment analysis 2! This contradiction leads me to believe that there is no objective way of judging the attractiveness of a girl.

Now lets analyze the attractiveness of the Paris Hilton wannabe. Considering that she walked into a Starbucks with how she was dressed, it is probably how she looks like the majority of the time. If both of you agree that she is hot at that moment, then she becomes officially hot.

Disregard everything above if you are drunk.