5 Creative Ways to Deal with Kids

1. Magic Spray

Kids have the tendency to get injured in every opportunity possible. About 90% of their injuries are trivial, but their screaming and yelling try to convince you otherwise. You can probably recall a few instances when you’ve witnessed a kid trip over their own feet – then they get up slightly stunned, but not crying or screaming. At their first glimpse of blood the silence instantly disappears. Luckily, the placebo effect works on kids 95% of the time. Small kids can’t take sugar pills so you can create your own placebo. Just take an old spray container, fill it with water, and label it, “Magic Spray.” Then create some story about how you found it in a magic cave and how it heals all wounds. Spray it on the kid’s injury and watch them magically stop crying!

2. Imaginary Super Hero

Kids have an over active imagination, sometimes it actually scares them. Some variation of a Boogie Man could keep them up at night. If it’s not helping to simply tell the kid there is no such thing, then you need to make them stop thinking about it all together. Tell them to imagine the biggest and strongest super hero imaginable. Every time their bad thoughts pop up, tell them to imagine their super hero crunch up their thoughts like a piece of paper and throw it away in a trash bin. And remind the kid that the super hero has super speed and will never waste time to destroy their bad thoughts.

3. Superstition

Sometimes you just don’t have the time to explain to a kid why they should stop a certain behavior. For example you are at the supermarket and it’s your turn to pay for your groceries when your child starts opening candy bars. You don’t have time to lecture them so just say it’s bad luck. Kids will obey any superstition thrown at them... for about one minute. The one minute will give you enough time to pay for your groceries and will stop the kid’s bad behaviors momentarily.

4. Operation Hopelessness

Have you ever had your child ask you for just one more quarter for the arcades? And after you give them that quarter they run back to ask for another? To stop this aggravating behavior you must hinder their persistence. Make a huge fuss about how you don’t want to give them another quarter (or any other object they want). Then after about five minutes you finally give them the quarter. They will use it up in a matter of seconds and come back discouraged to beg for another. This way you save yourself half an hour dealing with an angry and tireless kid.

5. Embarrassment

Ever have your teacher write your name on the board because you were talking in class? This is a widely used strategy because it works. It is effective because it’s embarrassing and singles you out. If you are in a public place with a child who is out of control, give him the attention he doesn’t want. Yell out their name loud enough for others to hear and sustain a loud voice if they continue misbehaving. If you don’t want to embarrass yourself in the process, just threaten them with embarrassing things you’ll do to them.