Karma's a Bitch

Scene 1
Scene begins with Matt looking around the house for his bike lock keys
Searches everywhere and starts to get stressed out.
Finally opens his housemate’s (David) door
Camera zooms on Matt’s surprised/confused/cracking up face
Audience only hears David stumble and hit his head.

Scene 2
Matt and David eat their morning cereal together
Matt: “How’s your head [snickers]”
David: “It’s fine… why don’t you fucking knock!”
Matt: “Its 7 in the morning!”
David: “Yea, so what?”
Matt: “More importantly, were you doing it to Facebook pictures! [Touches forehead in disbelief]
David: “No dude, that’s just my decoy”
Matt: “Yea, decoy, sure.”
Matt: “Whatever, I can’t find the keys to my bike lock, the cleaners probably jacked it. How am I suppose to get to school?”
David: “You can borrow my skateboard”

Scene 3
Matt is riding the skateboard to school.
Everybody stares at him as he stumbles to get the hang of it. Matt decides to hide it in the bushes and pick it up on the way back from school.
As he walks to school he sees three girls in their cruiser bikes. They are dressed in all Abercrombie and Hollister and all blonde bombshells. Matt tries to give them an awkward head nod and the girls give an awkward stare back. Matt has a look of glee on his face like he just successfully hit on them.

Scene 4
Matt is on the way back from school.
He looks at the bush where he hid the skateboard, but it isn’t there.
Matt gets back to the house to tell David the news.
Matt goes to David’s room and knocks on his door.
Matt: [while knocking] “Hey is it safe to get in?”
David: [opens the door] “Yeeees, you’re making me feel like I am running a meth lab or something… what’s up? How was the skateboard?”
Matt: “Well its about that…[tells story of what happened]…”
David: “It’s ok, just buy me a new one.”
Matt: “Uuuh, yea ok”
David: “Oh and btw, there is a fat party this Saturday, oh and those girls you like are going to be there. “
Matt: “I don’t like any girl, what are you talking about?”
David: “C’mon, you know… those Laguna beach girls.”
Matt: “Laguna beach girls?”
David: “Yea, they look like Abercombie just farted them out or something… I see you staring at the all the time, don’t deny it.”
Matt: “You gotta admit, they are pretty hot”
David: “Yea, I would hit it too.”
Matt: “Too bad for you the party isn’t at 7 in the morning, at your prime”
David: “Shut up about that already… don’t forget the skateboard, my little brother got that for his bar-mitzvah.”
Matt: “Alright, drive me over there.”

Scene 4
Matt and David are driving to the skate shop
They suddenly smell something really bad
Matt and David: “Ahhh wtf is that smell!” [Matt roles down the window]
David: “Don’t do that man, its coming from the outside. It always smells like ass over here.”
Matt: “That’s ridiculous, they should make a bridge or something.”
David: “Yea, that’s a waste of money.”
Matt: “Speaking of money, I have $40, how much is that skateboard?”
David stops the car
Matt: “Ahhh did you really have to make your dramatic stop here? I feel like I am being Dutch ovened by a dead body.”
David: “You do realize you lost a $200 skateboard”
Matt: “I’ll get him a cheap Big 5 one, your brother wont’ know the difference.”
David: “Ok fine, let me just remind you, karma’s a bitch.”
Matt: “Alright Vishnu.”
They drive back home

Scene 5
It’s Saturday night and they are getting ready for the party
They are pre-partying at their friend Jake’s house.
[Jake is very extroverted and sociable.]
Matt and David walk into Jake’s house; there are a couple of other people pre-partying as well.
Jake: [In a surfer accent] “Sup bros, we got naddy light in the fridge, Jell-o shots on the table and jager-bombs in 5 WOOOOO all-right, lets get drinkin!” [high-fives Matt and David]
David says to Matt: “You better do what the man says, your sober ass won’t hook up with those Laguna girls.”
Matt: “Right… but for some reason I get too clingy when I am drunk. I get too obsessed and end up scaring them away.”
Jake to Matt: “Bro bro bro, you got a lot to learn… alright check this out, this is what I do: just remind yourself that the girl has a piece of shit inside of her.
Matt and David: “WTF! What are you talking about?”
Jake: “Well, girls are fucking hot, but we forget they are human and have disgusting pieces of shit inside their bodies. All I am saying is that it works.”
Matt: “That’s just disgusting.”
Jake: “W/e dude, lets drink WOOOOOO!”

Scene 6
Arrive at the party.
Matt is pretty damn drunk
Matt: “Alright man! Lets get those Laguna things or whatever you call them!”
David: “Dude, relax, Laguna girls only have their inhibitions lowered at around 3/4ths of the party.”
Jake: “He’s got a point man”
Matt: “Well fuck, what am I suppose to do until then?”
Jake: “Damn dude, you really have no party etiquette. You’re suppose to play drinking games before you hook up.”
David: “We got a captain-obvious over here.” [they laugh at the stupid joke because they are drunk].
Matt: “hahahah, captain obvious, that’s hilarious!”
Jake: “Hey bros, they are about to play ‘Never Have I ever’ over there, let’s join in!”

Scene 7
They are gathering around a circle getting ready to play ‘Never Have I ever.’
The girl sitting next to Matt, Amanda, introduces herself to matt [she is also a Laguna girl]
Amanda: “Hi, my name is Amanda.” [Sticks her hand out to shake his hand]
Matt: “Hey, I am Matt.” What’s your name again?
Amanda: “Amanda, and you’re Matt right?”
Matt: “Yea yea, sooo… where are you from?’
Amanda: “I am actually from Kentucky, what about you?”
Matt: “Oh really, Frankfort?”
Amanda: “Yea!”
Matt: “By any chance do you know a guy named Steve Temin?”
Amanda: “uhh, no.”
Matt: “Oh nvm then”
Awkward pause
Amanda: “Sooo what’s your major?”
Matt: “uh, Bio Major.”
Amanda: “OMG the human body is AMAZING.”
Matt: “uh huh, what’s your major?”
Amanda: “Pre-Med”
Matt: “Oh so you’re going to med school?”
Amanda: “No, I am just getting my pre-requisites done before I apply.”
Matt: “Ok, so you’re a bio major.”
Amanda: “Uh, no, pre-med.”
Conversation interrupted by a guy explaining the rules to the game of ‘Never Have I ever.’ If you did the thing once, then you take a sip.
The first person in the game: “Never have I ever had anal sex teeheehee!”
A few people take sips and people laugh and yell out stuff like ‘omg I can’t believe you did that!”
It’s David’s turn to go
David: “Never Have I ever had my best friend’s $200 skateboard stolen because I left it in a bush like an idiot. ”
Everybody laughs and says ‘ooooo’ as Matt takes a sip
It’s Matt’s turn to go
Matt: “Never have I ever masturbated to Facebook pictures!”
David: “You’re such a fag.” [takes a sip and everyone laughs harder]
Matt: “That’s karma for you!”
Somebody throwing up interrupts the game
Amanda: “I’ll help him! I am a pre-med student.”
Matt says to David: “Wow, that girl is such an idiot, but she is fucking hot.”
David: “Go for it, hit it.”
Matt: “You know what, alright I’ll do it.”

Scene 8
Matt goes up to Amanda while she is helping the throwing up guy
Matt: “Hey there…what’s your name again?”
Amanda: “Amanda, hey…”
Matt: “Matt”
Amanda: “Right, sorry I had to leave the game, duty called!”
Matt thinks to himself ‘eh, duty…’ Remembers when Jake told him about the shit thing
Matt: “heh, wanna dance?”
Amanda: “Sure!”

Scene 9
Amanda starts dancing like a slut with her ass out and moving really quickly
Matt looks confused and struggles to figure out a way to engage contact with her.
After a few minutes of trying to engage, Matt gives up and says:
Matt: “Hey… wanna go somewhere else?”
Amanda: “Sure! I need more drinks though!”
They start drinking again
Have a stupid drunk conversation
Amanda: “I had a lot of fun dancing with you.”
Matt: “Uuuh, right”
Amanda: “You’re pretty hot hahah.”
Matt: “hahaha you’re funny!”
Amanda: “Yea, I am special like that.”
Matt: “hahaha you should change your major to pre-comedian cause you’re hilarious!”
Amanda: “Hey, I’ve got a funny idea.”
Matt: “Yea, what?”
Amanda: “Lets go to that room over there.”
Matt: “Alright sure.”

Scene 10
They get into a room with a giant bed in the middle.
Amanda throws him on the bed
She tells Matt to take off his clothes
Matt gets to his underwear
Amanda: “Wait 5 minutes, I really need to go to the bathroom.”
Matt recalls again what Jake told him about the shit thing
Matt gets completely turned off, but Amanda already came back from the bathroom
Thinking quickly matt decides to pretend to pass out.
Amanda comes back disappointed, as he is lying there asleep
After a while Matt really does pass out on the bed

Scene 11
Matt wakes up at the bed the next morning
He gets up and can’t find his clothes. He stumbles over to the kitchen and there he sees Amanda.
Matt: “Heeey, what are you doing here.”
Amanda: “Ummmmm I duno, maybe because I LIVE HERE!”
Matt: “Oh, sorry about last night.”
Amanda: “Yea w/e asshole.”
Matt: “eh, listen I can’t find my clothes.”
Amanda: “Your stupid friend stole them and told me to tell you ‘karma’s a bitch.”
Matt: “Oh fuck.”
Amanda: “Get out of my house already!”
Matt: “Uh, my stupid friend was my ride home. You think you can give me a ride, I live like 10 minutes away.”
Amanda: “Fine, hurry we need to go now.”
Matt: “Can I borrow some clothes.”
Amanda: “No way! I am already too nice to you.”
Matt: “Ok lets just go.”

Scene 12
Matt and Amanda are driving in the car
Awkward silence ensues for 30 seconds when suddenly they pass by the place on the road that smells like shit.
Amanda: [with a disgusted face on her] “Ewwwwwwww you’re disgusting! Get the fuck out of my car!”
Amanda stops the car
Matt: “WTF it’s not me, it’s from the outside! This place always smells like ass!”
Amanda: “OMG I can’t believe you’re still in the car, geeeeeet oooooout!
Matt: “Do you really have to stop the car here, it smells like shit!”
Amanda physically pushes him out the door.
Matt stands there outside in his underwear.
Close up on Matt’s face as he looks worried.
Matt: “Fuck.”
Screen freezes and music starts playing in the background as credits roll